In 2021 I had major jaw surgery. The surgery was for medical reasons, but also had the result of significantly changing what I looked like.


In the year leading up to my surgery date, I became increasingly anxious about the surgery and increasingly desperate to document my face before it changed. In the process of this attempt at documentation, I became aware of how much my face had already changed in the past couple years due to braces and pulled teeth as I prepared for surgery. I realized that I was trying to document something that I no longer looked like. Nonetheless I stared into the lens and into the mirror and tried to memorize my features.


For the month following the surgery, I didn’t look in a mirror other than a tiny one to do quickly do my post-surgical exercises. I slowly started to use the camera to grapple with my new appearance even as it rapidly shifted as I healed. Six months after the surgery I was able to look in the mirror and think, hey I guess that person is kind of cute. A year later, I was able to look in the mirror and think, hey maybe I am kind of cute.


Jaw surgery has felt like a major pivotal event in my life. I reborn, I am discovering who I am.